Dark night with snow falls

Welcome back Ben,

To a place that used to meant so much to me. but now its just growing dust.

I guess what really brings me back here is that, i am looking for a place to rant but at the same time a place where i am alone.

I guess a lot of people has long forgotten the existence of blogspot.

and even so, no people would actually drop by my blog to give it a visit.

So indirectly it give me the space i needed yet a place i can rant.

A place where is forgotten by everyone.

I guess blogspot has a lot of memories left behind growing dust.

I guess if i am not going through a heart break i might not even be back here today.

Looking back at all the memories really make my tears to roll non stop.

Like a wiseman once said, inorder to heal it has to be broken first.

I cant belief how sweet we used to be. how much we cared about each other and how much bad times we give each other.

But i guess its all memories now.

A memory that i cant let go.

A memory i cant burried deep.

I know its been nearly 11 months sinced.

But then....

Things are changing, people are changing, but one thing nvr changed. <|3

i love you, i wish that miracle happens to me that you'll be all worth it.
sincerely, broken heart </3

seriously, i think im not ready for this class. there are so many seniors and im like just started to step into my second year. and this lecturer is gonna freak me out. sigh. i'll try to work things out at the best of all but still IM NOT READY!!! :( 

p/s: god please bless me in her class this semester.

booyah, its time to go to bed. someone sleeping and hope he'll be fine tmr. and we'll be continue to be nerdy tmr. couldnt wait to get away from all these books. okay 2 weeks time. counting counting. loves.

Idk why but I'm pretty frustrated. How's life out there? I ain't doing good here? I've been quarantine in a very bad situation. Will get rid of it, but it'll just take time. How long? No one knows. Just in a blink, finals are around the corner. This sem hasn't been good to me. Piles of work to do. It's pretty hectic you can say. How I wish the next short sem will be kind to me. But just so you know, American govt??? Another history? Screw it man.

I'm a smelly baby. Says my baby :D

just had a goodnight session with bb after reading for test ltr on in the morning. anyway its late, i shall just go and revise a lil bit more and head to bed. chicken essence will be my friend tmr. goodluck poo.

I have so much to confess.
I have so much work to do yet so little time.
Can u please spare me sometime and take away part of my burden???
Monday: Compo essay
Tuesday: international trade test
Thursday: leadership and management presentation
Friday: accounting test
Fml maximum.

Have been hoping for incredibly good stuff from people surrounding. Wishing to stay in a better environment; perhaps a perfect people n perfect surrounding? Sounds impossible but still hoping for it. That's why get disappoint easily.
Hanging up on a phone every night till he shut his eyes to bed. Having him beside n snoring like no one else's business. hugging him before he leaves home. Asking for his daily routine like interviewing some bigheads. Rawr, there are just too much. Istilllovehimanyway. Who cares, I'm gonna protect him like some valuable bitch on hand. You peepo out there, think twice to go near him. RAWR.

baby is stressing for finals. not only him i guess, everyone does. hehe. good luck everybody. sending all my love to ppl out there but most of it to my poo. good luck baby. looking forward to holidays with you <3

Qing tian Ben chi da bian. Ï łôvē śmëłłÿ pôò mâö.

Life is so interesting now days. So many things that are happening. Good and bad ones. But I just dint really have the mood or motivation to bla it all out here. Not just that i dont have the mood, but i also dont really have the time to spend going online for a very long time. like i said, life is interesting, u dont want to waste it too much sitting infront the computer do u. i will not bla every little detail over here but more of a summarize version.

Alot that i've learned lately.
Some of the lesson including my studies and also some human anthropology. ren shen dao li. Studies and all kinda went well, because i have all the courage and support from my bii. There is not much of assignment to rush off lately. but for the last two weeks i have like 3 exams in a weeek and one assignment due. Its kinda rush for that week. but yeah i manage to pull it through.

Besides studies, there is alot more that i have learn bout life. Its like i had a bang by the train and suddenly everything makes sense to me. I am glad i was banged hard enough that wakes me up. It that dont happen, i dont know how many times more i am gonna hurt the only person that i loved most. I learned that I must be careful of what U do, U never knew what u did today is gonna made how much n how big of an impact in a person's life. Dont just do anything just because u wished like it. Not only that, things that u do now, u may not pay the price now, but later on in life u may pay a higher price. Most important, never do as u like, u dont live this life alone, and u dont want to hurt the one u love. Its not fair that the things u anyhow do as u wish, and others pay for its price. that is something very valuable i learned lately. Always remember something. its never too late to change. Its never too late to start treating the one u love better.

U never know what is gonna happen even a min after this. So, please please. treat the one u love better. Appreaciate them more and never do something that is gonna impact their life in a negative way. You never know what kind of price they have to pay for the action that you did. I believe that when u love someone you really dont want to hurt them do you. so please appreciate them more. Love them more. Life is too unpredictable. Love every moment you can have with your love ones. Appreciate what you have before time makes u appreciate what u Had.

There are always things in life that we are not very proud off but it happen anyway. No one is perfect is this life, just make sure you dont repeat it again and again. one way or another I've become wiser and a better person in life. U will never know what hurts feels like until u truely go through it. Not everytime you are lucky enough to have a second chance. but when u do, give in ur everything n even more then u can give. to prove that the chance given is not a waste and another chance for them to get hurt themself. Prove to them they you are worth the chance. prove to them u changed and u r worth risking.

Never avoid challenges, embrace it, face it and live with it. there is no perfect life. remember practise makes perfect? this is it. the more challenges and barrier u go through. the stronger and better you become. Unless u are a retard, otherwise everyone becomes better after a situation.

A suppose to be short post became so long. I gues when u type and type. u lost trace of time and typed even more. =)

spm143443. its for me and her to know, for you guys to find you. =P
*stinkypoomao*

Emo, moody, tired, angry, sad! All ttm! :'(

I am so lazy to on my com. And since it's battery is also dead then it makes me more lazier to get it charged n turn back on. Dispite all that inconvenient I have something that I have to blog and also talked about. It's 10.00 am now. I am on my bed but I woke up real early for a day which I don't have class. Why? well I was real tired n sleepy yesterday.

Really don't know what happen yesterday though but I am really tired. The feeling is so shitty that it makes me feel like as if I am emo. Because I have difficulty in breathing and super uneasy everywhere. Stand sit and sleep nth makes me feel comfortable. Sp I decree to go to bee kinda early yesterday at about 11 pm. I slept the whole way through until 9.30 or so.

Althought the part above is really long and detailed but it isn't the point why I wanted to blog and having something to say about. Dispite my selfish action yesterday. I kinda hurt n affected someone really desr to me. It makes me fel kinda sucky bout It. Cos I only know bout it this morning. When I saw her late night massages n also my wall feed.
To my dear dearest dear, I would like to apologize for what happen yesterday. I bet you are real worried and yet nth can be done to help me. But dear don't worry just by being there for me always it already help me more then u can ever imagine. Sorry again for what happen yesterday. Allow me to make it up to you afterwards.

I love you *Stinkypoomao* 143443 thanks for everything.

I have so much to say by a sudden. I have so much to express by a sudden. I will so energetic by a sudden. Ofcoruse that also includes that my thoughts are going in the speed of light. So many things are going through my mind but only one thing remain in my heart. *you*

*random*
People comes and goes in my life. Some came and stay awhile then they leave. They leave footprint behind. They leave a wonderful lesson that money cant buy. I dint regret the things that i have done. If i would given a second chance i would repeat it all once again. Because I believe in domino effect. I also believe that its all those process and things that happen that brings me to you.

*I Believe In Faith*

I believe taht whats happens today to me, Its the most wonderful thing that everyone can have. Love, Those who dont like it called it responsibility. Those who plays with it called it a game. Those who dont hate it call it a dream. Those who understands it call it a destiny. and for me I called it You. The Power of love is the most powerful that GOD have ever created, thats why GOD created Adam and gave Adam, Eve. Its precisely the way i sees it. She was a gift. The most wonderful gift one can ever receive.

Her present is that makes me wanna wake up in the morning. her present is whats make me who I am today. Its a very wonderful feeling to be an important part of someones life. Her present is what makes me perfect.

Whats A Puzzle With A Missing Piece? Simply called puzzled.

With Every single piece comes into place, Which makes puzzle so amazing. As in the process you might not see the whole picture, but with ONE piece of puzzle its made perfect. Same case goes to love, Life isn't anything without love, but with love life is made perfect. The same way she perfect my life with the missing piece. The one little piece of puzzle that i have been hunting all this while.

Its feel so good, to have a person that would always be there for you, and its willing to be there to share her every moment with you. Without her, i might be the same old me, the same old ben. same old silly guy that does what ever he is happy doing without much of thinking.

Some say You know you are in love when you dont wanna go to sleep because reality is better then your dreams. For me, i say i love both day and night because in both world i know I have you always by my side.

*Anyone can catches my Eye, But only Someone Special Can Capture my Heart*

Good Night . <3

Thanks to my Stinkypoomao She has been micro blogging for me and also to cheer my blog up a lil bit. Since she knows that i am too lazy to get things done by my self sometimes. So I wanna Thanks her for helping me out all the time.

Melaka.
The two days one night trip to malaka was awesome. I mean everything was right until the end. but the little hassle at the end is not gonna stop me from having the best time with my stinkypoomao. We went with singhow and his gf. A double date u can say that. A wonderful one obviously. We enjoyed all their delicacy, tho the que was long but it never stop us from having the best food there. I would grade the trip 4/5 star. Well not bad i guess. Staying in A-famosa was quite a good one. Tho its abit far from town but then for the price we pay, it was good!

Micro Blogging.